Daemonette

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Version 2 Daemonettes, back when they were still recognizably feminine.

Daemonettes are alluring daemons in servitude to Slaanesh in the Warhammer Fantasy and Warhammer 40k universes. Imperial propaganda has it that they are all hermaphrodite, although this is obviously Imperial lies - although since daemons are subject to mutation it is possible there might be the occasional exception. Originally, Daemonettes were Elves and Eldar that Slaanesh took the souls of after their death and converted into Daemons; however, this was mostly retconned in 40k Grimederp into Slaanesh consuming their souls because he's an addict with no willpower, then crapping out Daemonettes in an unrelated way due to increased power - which in turn still suggests that they might be Eldar after all. In Fantasy they're still implied to be Elves.

The most famous of them is a raver know as The Masque who is dancing all the time, even while she is making babies. There is an urban legend what says their invulnerability really comes from the size of their tits and not from their daemonic nature, mostly because they deflect any possible projectile, even the weeaboo's arsenal, aimed at their torso. Thus, they are a cause of much fapping amongst fa/tg/uys.

Most Daemonettes have razor-sharp crab-like claws, and slashing and stabbing things with them causes them unholy ecstasy. Because the fastest way for them to experience this is combat, they are, paradoxically, a very effective combat unit.

See also: the far more amicable Loli Daemonette, and the seemingly reasonable Nerdmonette.

According to /d/, most are dickgirls. We are not liable for any major psychological or physical damage (or arousal) this revelation may have caused you. Also, be aware that /d/ has at times claimed that all girls have dicks. As you were.

A generally forgotten part of the lore is that Daemonettes literally feed on emotions, sensations, and souls. A Daemonette who is starved of these things dissipates, and suffers permanent death, so as a result Slaanesh appoints Daemonettes who displease him to do chores as punishment. So, yes, you can in fact blue-ball a daemonette to death. The exception is any Daemonette who angers him so much he wants to deprive them of death, in which case he turns them into a marble statue and places them wherever he feels they'll suffer the most ironically for all time.

Daemonette Jobs

Acting as daemon school girls to bait willing pedophiles, being the alpha bitch as well as hunting and having premature,illegal and underage sex with little boys is also a popular and professional job for a Daemonette.

Of course being a Daemonette isn't all fun and games (metaphorically, every non-punishment task for a Daemonette is literally just fun and games).

Most Daemonettes either act as servants to Slaaneshi VIPs, or amuse themselves with the many, MANY captured souls as they wait for the opportunity to either go forth into the mortal world to wreak havoc or to defend Slaanesh's realm against the invaders from the rest of Chaos (or celibates and asexuals) with the former being far more desirable than the latter. Some are summoned into the mortal realm as a servant for a Cultist or a Druchii, and of course the lucky Daemonette will have fun however they can while playing the usual Daemonic games of misleading and giving someone what they ask for in a hilariously ironic way thanks to wording of commands.

Daemonettes who impress Slaanesh are allowed to go to the meadows and fields where the Steeds of Slaanesh roam to tame a mount, whereupon they join Slaanesh's elite as one of the Seeker warbands who stalk the Warp and the material plane for beings to edge into insanity via relentless pursuit in order to drag the broken minded being's soul back to the Palace of Pleasure as a plaything for all of Slaanesh's court to enjoy.

Seekers are sometimes allowed even further honors, being given Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh to ride at the vanguard of his great armies.

Even more blessed than the Seeker Chariots are the Exalted Seeker Chariots, the VIP limo Chariot of Slaanesh's most important Daemonettes and Heralds.

The final common blessing are the Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh, a gigantic Chariot that was once used as a punishment to render Daemonettes into dishonored gardeners that cleaned the gardens after battles by slicing up any remains until a pair of Daemonettes took one for a joy ride where it was discovered to cause the utmost orgasmic bliss in its riders. Ever since, the gift of a Hellflayer is the ultimate blessing any Daemonette can receive.

In the Blood Bowl universe, the concept of war has been replaced by American Football instead. Or at least the variety where the crowd doesn't mind active cheating, attempts to kill anyone who gets tackled into them, and both weapons and even monsters or siege equipmemt is allowed on the pitch. Skirmishes still happen of course, including Daemons rampaging when summoned into a match (before the drunk and rioting fans scare them back into the Warp), but in general the world revolves around the sport and even Khorne has abandoned thought of invasion and instead presents his assembled forces for each seasons draft. Slaanesh's participation in Blood Bowl is hands off by mainly bankrolling the teams of Chaos devoted mortals, providing refreshment and escort services for players and owners, and improving stadiums (beware the hidden glyphs that allow Daemons to join the match or spectators). But Chaos teams having Daemonettes for cheerleaders is his most obvious contribution. Well, that and the merchandising. Daemonette Cheerleaders appear as a three-breasted but otherwise standard Daemonette who wears combat boots, a trenchcoat, and a cap that looks like they were stolen off a dead Comissar (this being a Warhammer Fantasy-based universe makes the connection all the more hilarious) and carry a human skull that still has a lock of long luxurious hair on a handle as a pom pom. The typical pose is with one foot in the air like a Can Can dancer while horn throwing (thimb resting on ring and middle finger, pinkey and index finger pointing out, once a supposedly Satanic/"magic" gesture and now associated mostly with rock and metal musuc). In the Blood Bowl video game, the third boob was dropped as well as the boots while the coat and hat got a vinyl treatment to look more S&M than 40k.

Daemonette Mutations

Daemonettes have had a lot of different varieties across multiple production runs. The first Daemonettes had crab-like claws and feathery "glam metal" hairstyles, because they were unveiled in the 80s when Sonic Blasters were actual guitars. They looked perfectly ridiculous, but that's fine - everything did in those days, and that was perfectly acceptable because it was fucking awesome. They also had mono-boobs and frankly rather fugly faces, since in the lore they were described as being ghastly androgynes, yet somehow sexy despite it all... Really, Games Workshop's always had problems with making sexy looking models.

Later updates gave the Daemonettes an impressive facelift (as well as six boobs) and saw the beginnings of us seeing PROMOTIONS for Daemonettes as well. Slaanesh was given a comprehensive backstory, and the Daemonettes were updated accordingly. Because Slaanesh had been born of the Eldar (and Fantasy had been shoved recently into the backseat so the spacemen could ride shotgun), the Daemonettes incorporated more elven features, having lithe, graceful bodies, long ears, and a much more feminine shape. This was also when the Daemonettes traded their chubby crab claws for scythe-like ones, lost having one breast in favor of having two, four or six tits, and actually had interesting lore applied to them in the WHFB universe - as a perfect melding of grace and lethality, Slaanesh made them so that they basically orgasm if they successfully impale someone with their talons, which made them exceptionally effective close-combat units. When you think of Daemonettes, most of /tg/ thinks of these ones: at once beautiful and hideous, giving you the weirdest boner before chopping you to squishy bits.

Daemonettes can also be stunned by the face of a human skull. Slaanesh still does not know what to make of this. (Maybe they are stunned by the perfection of the holy human form?)

They were updated again for the next edition; this was predominantly a model update, since the new Daemonettes were plastic as opposed to the metal ones of old. These are the infamous "Monoboob" models that became the rage at about the time that a certain infamous fluff-fucker reverted them back to their old fluff so they were all simultaneously feminine and not-feminine, and played up their hideousness to 11. By and large the new Daemonette models, while fairly cool-looking in their own right, weren't as well-received by the community - because you simply don't get between a fa/tg/uy and his monstergirl porn without risking the loss of several limbs. The fact that, unlike the previous ones, the new Daemonette models all have static poses without a hint of their supposed elegance and agility may also have played a role...

There are several theories as to what was behind this:

• The most popular is that Games Workshop thought that the original models were too racy for younger players since, daemonic features aside, they looked like topless women wearing nothing but loincloths. This begs the question: "If you're not going to handle that sort of content in a universe full of grimdark, where depictions of rampant bloodshed, murder, human sacrifice and even cannibalism are rampant in both the core rulebook and every dicking codex then why the fuck are you in charge?" The answer is that it's a reflection of the skewed standards inherent to media censorship in modern Western culture. While it's too complex to describe in the scope of this article, the simple version is that displays of gratuitous violence are considered acceptable, but open depictions of sexuality as minor as an exposed female nipple draw the ire of media watchdogs, concerned parents, and moral guardians everywhere. (Recently and comparatively speaking, they rarely allow even the depiction of bleeding wounds or body parts being removed). Consequently, the sexual aspects of the Daemonettes' design had to be removed in order to cater to the kids they were trying to sell their models to.
• Another plausible theory is that they were trying to tap into grognard loyalty by reverting back to the older design as they had done with the Bloodletters and Plaguebearers, failing to realize that the new daemonettes had been a case of a change being well-received as for the better by the main fanbase, since "blade-limbed multi-boobed pseudo-succubus" worked much better for the setting's resident sex-daemons than "freaky looking crab-clawed one-tittied androgyne who somehow magically fucks with your brain so you'd tap that despite it not looking like either a man or a woman".
• A third theory is that they're supposed to be used in both 40k and Fantasy, and since Slaanesh wasn't born from Elves in Fantasy, they were redesigned with less elf-ness, though this theory falls apart when you look at it closer. Though not Slaanesh's progenitor in WFHB, the setting is nonetheless replete with elven special characters devoted to Slaanesh (see Morathi and Dechala), so them having elvish ears occasionally wasn't exactly a big deal, inasmuch as nobody was paying attention to their ears in the first place.
• Some have even put forward a fourth theory; Matt Ward's alteration of Daemon Fluff in general is responsible for the changes. Further analysis by experts reveals that it's unlikely to have been Ward's conscious choice and far more likely, to be the imbecilic hands at Gee Dubs, obsessed with trying to lure in new sales for younger players (which also supports the first theory about toning down sexual themes).

The higher rank of Daemonettes are Keepers of Secrets. Daemonettes that impress Slaanesh are awarded special mounts called Steeds of Slaanesh. Even more impessive Daemonettes are awarded the right to crew a Seeker Chariot of Slaanesh. At one point, Hellflayers of Slaanesh were a punishment to be forced to drive as giant moving woodchippers slicing up Unclean One and Bloodletter bodies into a paste that Slaanesh's man-eating flowers could nom, but after a few rowdy Daemonettes (this is seriously the lore) took one onto a battlefield they've been the greatest privilege ever since.

Dating a Daemonette

Never EVER call a Daemonette flat chested, even if it is a monoboob one. You have been warned.

Likes		Dislikes
Sadism Masochism SadoMasoPedoRoboNecroBestiality Rough Sex Threesomes Foursomes Fivesomes, Sixsomes, and so on ad infinitum... Cheating Giving Surprise Buttsex Receiving Surprise Buttsex Blood Bowl Sunday DeviantArt	Snuff films Romantic Snuff films Fifteensomes, Sixteensomes, ... Mutations Tentacles Bukkake That one thing we don't talk about.. Twentysomes, Twentyonesomes, ... Commissar Hats Vance Motherfucking Stubbs Morathi Rick Priestley	Pulling out Cold showers Low endurance Purity rings Anything Khorne-related Erectile Dysfunction Asexually reproducing Orks Romantic comedies Condoms Birth control pills Missionary Position Matt Ward Great Horned Rat

Obtaining Daemonettes

Since Slaanesh has not yet been birthed by the Eldar, your only current means of obtaining Daemonettes is to purchase models.

While purchasing from Games Workshop is always an option, there are many who find such a practice is more along the lines of a Nurgle fan. Luckily, the intrepid Slaaneshi fanboy girl pan-octocockgina-kin has options: Raging Heroes produces a line of miniatures, called "Lust Elves", for wargames that by happy coincidence fit right into the theme of the Prince of Pleasure. These are specifically the "Mantis Warriors" which most resemble the typical Daemonette with large black eyes, bare breasts, wild poses, and lobster claw scythes. Those interested in something more...exotic can choose "Lust Elf Centaurs" which resemble a bondage queen carried by slaves bound at the pelvis, "Death Dancers" which are multi-armed bacchanalian frolickers carrying blades, "Demon Steed Riders" which ride creatures that seem to be made of slaves that have been melted together into a long-tongued snake creature, "Worm Riders" which look to be an HR Geiger-inspired type of lamprey mount, "Stingray Riders" which are mounted on a flying abomination of teeth and tentacles, and a "Spider Mother" which is a gigantic Drider goddess who unbirths fully-formed Lust Elves from its mouth (complete with its own lore!).

For those who do prefer GW's plastic over resin or metal, there is also the option of a simple yet somewhat costly (but hey, this is Gee-Dubs after all) conversion that invokes the image of Huan Diaz's Daemonettes: Just take Witch "Aelf" bodies, Daemonette heads, arms from either as you wish, glue them together, and finish by applying Green Stuff where it's due or desired.

Gallery

Canon Artwork

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  Fantasy Daemonettes are subtle. 40k Daemonettes are extremes. No explanation why.

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  Daemonettes with a Keeper of Secrets.

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  A Daemonette command group.

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  The older, more feminine Daemonette models.

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  Everything the fanbase likes about Daemonettes in a nutshell (this is a [old] canon image GW made, by the way).

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  The original Daemonettes. No 2nd edition daemonettes.

Fan Art

Do your part for the community. Add more promotions whenever you find them. Also see the gallery for Slaanesh

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  A Golden Demon winning mod model.

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  Proper daemonettes wear far less than this.

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  Proper daemonettes would also have already raped the cameraman instead of posing.

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  hueg tats in COLOR

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  Twincest; the best start to any day.

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  some of the best ones aren't born that way

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  Anything hotter and your monitor would explode

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  This prompted some elements of the Inquisition to try to make research heretical.

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  yes, ANYTHING can be corrupted by chaos.

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  Less well known is how Daemonettes sometimes use their talents for deception and subversion to infiltrate and misdirect their enemies.

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  Squishy bits on mah flash

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  see above

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  hueg tats

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  Reasonable Daemonette

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  Reasonable promotions!

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  More reasonable promotions!

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  And an Unreasonable Daemonette. Otherwise known as the regular kind.

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  Defile 'Er, indeed...

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  Simply Irresistible

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  Hey you! Sisters of Battle are hard enough to catch as it is. At least save some for the rest of us.

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  Daemonette loev Cereal

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  Tittymonster Daemonette

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  Awesome.

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  This is what happens when you fap too much

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  Daemonette Lawyer

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  There are actually two Daemonettes in this picture. And one of them is about to shoot a Guardsman, because he picked the other plain Daemonette over her carefully constructed "hot schoolteacher" Commissar look.

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  You do have to sympathize with the Daemonettes on one thing. They are pitifully forced to constantly restrain themselves from licking any objects at hand while idle.

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  This disgusting specimen managed to infiltrate the Imperium to Holy Terra itself, and even take a job at a Schola Progenum as a wet nurse, before the Inquisition finally caught up with her.

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  Reasonable Daemonettes on the attack!

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  Is that a Pretty Marine?

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  This is what Slaanesh is all about.

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  Khorne daemonettes are always on the rag. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

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  +4 STR, bitches!

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  This is the start of the randomly generated daemonettes.

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  This was an actual first edition head.

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  Daemonettes used to have feathered hair back in the day. Like Bon Jovi.

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  She'll suck yo dick! (Clean off)

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  Heresy!

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  Maybe it wasn't a good idea to let fa/tg/uys dictate which body parts to use

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  This is what happens when you convert Japanese hentai eroge to Xbox compatibility.

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  This picture taken at the Annual Red Rivers costume party a couple hours before the infamous "LOOK OUT, SLAANESHI WHORE!" incident.

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  She looks so happy and carefree. Doesn't she? She just debauched an entire orphanage into a fatal orgy. No survivors.

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  Just to caption the duplicate pic. This Commissar will still punish you if you are less than resolute against treason and heresy.

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  There are no female Orks, so there are no charms that Daemonettes can use to seduce them. Right?

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  nom nom nom

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  they died with smiles on their faces

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  A young daemonette's primer

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  Cheap at any price

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