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| [[Image:Inquisitors.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Bet you weren't expecting that.]]
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| NOBODY EXPECTS THE IMPERIAL INQUISITION.
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| Also known as the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]]'s pet psychopaths - at least according to [[Commissar]] [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]]. Strange how he gets away with this [[heresy]]. (It was because the Inquisitor writing it was his lover, and he was probably dead when it was published.)
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| MP jokes aside, the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition or just Inquisition are the <i>"secret"</i> police and internal investigators of the [[Imperium of Man]], the eponymous hunters of the alien, the mutant and the heretic. The inquisition is a semi-omnipotent and all powerful organization that has authority over every other organization and watch every single life in the Imperium for the slightest signs of heresy 1984-Big Brother style. The Emperor and his guards are the only people in the Imperium beyond their jurisdiction; even the High Lords can be (and were) subject to Inquisitorial investigation.
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| ==History==
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| [[File:PPI.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Heresy, chaos, and xenos. These were the most dangerous threats to the Imperium that were foreseen, but the Emprah of Mankind suddenly forsaw something more threatning than the three: EXTRA HERESY. Thus, the Inquisition was born! Using their ultra abusive authority, the Ordo Malleus, Hereticus, and Xenos, have dedicated their lives to defending (and destroying) the Imperium, and killing the <s>enemies of the</s> Emprah!]]
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| So when it became obvious that the Emperor's plan to starve the [[Chaos Gods]] with [[Imperial Truth|atheism]] was a failure due to the [[Horus Heresy]], the Big E ordered [[Malcador the Sigillite]] with the formation of the Inquisition. Charged with finding "men of character" to seek out the [[heresy|heretic]], the [[xenos|xeno]], the [[daemon]], and the unexpecting, the Inquisition serves as the secret protectors (or murderers) of the [[Imperium of Man]], guarding it from those who would destroy it from without, from within, and from [[Warp|beyond]].
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| As part of their duties, [[Inquisitor]]s have damn near unlimited power, up to and including [[Exterminatus|the destruction of worlds]]. If they have good cause, they can demand service from anyone, from lowly citizens to the [[High Lords of Terra]]. The only people officially exempt from this are the [[Adeptus Custodes]], who can legitimately say they have a more important job in guarding the Emperor on the Golden Throne. In practice, though, Inquisitors tend to at least say "please" and "thank you" when they require service from [[Space Marines]], since they tend to get turfy about taking orders from any non-Space Marine save the Emprah. Those who don't tread lightly tend to get a close encounter with a [[chainsword]].
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| "''Innocence proves nothing.''"
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| <small>Inquisitorial motto</small>
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| ==Philosophies==
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| The Inquisition is a big and complicated place, and many have different philosophies on how to protect the Imperium and stop [[Chaos]]. These are defined as either Puritans or Radicals.
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| ===Puritans===
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| Puritans, simply put, are those who refuse to employ the measures of the enemy, such as xenotech or the Warp. Most Inquisitors start out as Puritans, but a number of them fall into Radicalism. Puritanism can fall among three major philosophies:
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| *'''Amalathian''': The most conservative form of Puritanism in the Inquisition, Amalathians (named after Mount Amalath, where its tenets were first set down at an Inquisitorial conclave) believe that the Emperor has some sort of divine plan for the Imperium, and the Inquisitions purpose is to protect the Imperium as that plan becomes visible. Change is considered the greatest enemy (which may have [[Tzeentch|some sense to it]]) seek to overcome the factionalism so common within the [[Adeptus Terra]]. The irony that the Amalathians are themselves technically a faction is not lost on them. You'd think that a group which holds the Imperium at present is perfect would be off its rocker, but they're actually a fairly reasonable group who prefer to [[/tg/ gets shit done|get shit done]] rather than bicker and bitch over territorial disputes. [[Gregor Eisenhorn]] was once a staunch Amalathian, but he eventually fell into Radicalism in his later years.
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| *'''Monodominant''': The most extreme form of Puritianism in the Inquisition, Monodominants believe that humanity, and ''only'' the humanity, should be allowed to continue to exist. Given that the average inhabitants of the galaxy are [[Eldar|Space pansies who would abandon you in a heartbeat]], [[Dark Eldar|space pansies who would torture and rape you in a heartbeat]], [[Ork|green hooligans who would fight and kill you in a heartbeat]], [[Tyranid|giant spacebugs who would eat you in a heartbeat]], [[Necron|undead robots who would atomize you in a heartbeat]] and [[Daemon|things much worse]], this is [[Grimdark|an understandable worldview]]. Unfortunately, the Monodominants take things a few steps further, wanting to eliminate all [[mutant]]s, including the [[Psyker]]s ([[Astropath]]s and [[Navigator]]s) that humanity needs to keep functioning. Basically [[Humanity Fuck Yeah]] taken to its logical extreme. The Monodominants feature heavily in the [[Knights Inductor]] campaign.
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| *'''Thorians''': The most radical form of Puritanism, Thorians are named after Sebastian Thor, the hero of the [[Age of Apostasy]], and believe that Thor held part of the power of the Emperor within him. The Thorians thus believe that it is possible to reincarnate the Emperor of Mankind into a new body, allowing him to rebuild the Imperium and launch a new [[Great Crusade]].
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| ==Song==
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| ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbcyiFt5VEs tune])
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| The eye that sleepth not.
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| The Inquisition (Let's begin)
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| The Inquisition (Look out, sin)
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| We have a mission
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| To kill all the Xenos (Xenos, Xe-e-nos)
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| We're gonna teach them (Wrong from right)
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| We're gonna help them (See the light)
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| And make an offer that they can't refuse.
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| (That the Xenos just can't refuse)
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| Confess, don't be boring
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| Say yes, don't be dull
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| A fact you're ignoring
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| It's better to lose your schlicktau than your skull (Or your gavalt)
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| The Inquisition (What a show)
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| The Inquisition (Here we go)
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| We know you're wishing that we'd go away
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| But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay
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| The Inquisition (Oh boy)
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| The Inquisition (What joy)
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| The Inquisition (Oi oi)
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| I was posting down in /tg/, I was minding my own business
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| I was about to post some Loli Daemonette.
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| Then these Ordos Hereticus persons plunge in
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| And they throw me in a dungeon
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| And they shove a red hot poker up my ass.
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| Is that considerate?
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| Is that polite?
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| And not a tube of Preparation H in sight.
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| I'm sittin' flickin' daemons
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| And I'm lookin' through the thickens
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| When suddenly these guys break down my walls.
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| I didn't even know them
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| And they grabbed me by the scrotum
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| And they started playing Ping Pong with my balls.
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| Oh, the agony!
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| Ooh, the shame!
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| To make my privates public by a game!
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| The Inquisition (What a show)
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| The Inquisition (Here we go)
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| We know you're wishing that we'd go away
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| But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-
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| Hey, Torquemada!
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| What do you say?
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| I just got back from the auto-de-fe,
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| Auto-de-fe? What's the auto-de-fe?
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| It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway!
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| Skit scat doodlebac doodle be bay
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| Will you convert?
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| NO NO NO NO!
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| Will you confess?
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| NO NO NO NO!
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| Will you revert?
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| NO NO NO NO!
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| Will you say YES?
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| NO NO NO NO!
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| Now I asked in a nice way
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| I said pretty please
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| I bent their ears
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| Now I'll work on the knees
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| Hey Torquemada
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| Walk this way
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| We got a new game you might want to play!
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| Pull this handle, try your luck
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| Who knows, Torque, you might win a buck! (All right)
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| Put it in the car!
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| (In the car! In the car!)
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| How we doing? Any Heretics confess today?
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| Not a one! Nay Nay Nay!
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| We've flattened their fingers,
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| We've branded their buns.
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| Nothing is working!
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| SEND IN THE NUNS WITH GUNS!
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| The Inquisition (What a show)
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| The Inquisition (Here we go)
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| We know you're wishing that we'd go away
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| So come on all you Heretics and you Xenos
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| We got some big news for all of yous
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| You'd better change your point of views today
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| 'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!
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| (bet you weren't expecting that song, either!)
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| ==Branches==
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| There are three main branches in the Inquisition (there are minor branches with jobs raging from extremely specific to extremely vague, but they rarely get mentioned anyway).
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| *[[Daemonhunters|Ordo Malleus]] - They are guys who hunt [[daemon|daemons.]] This branch works with the [[Grey Knights]]. Currently, they may be subject to more [[RAGE]] than ever before, by guilt by association to [[Matt Ward|your spiritual liege]].
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| *[[Witch Hunters|Ordo Hereticus]] - Guys who like to hunt [[wizard|witches]], [[heresy|heretics]] and [[furry|mutants]]. This branch works with the [[Sisters of Battle]].
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| *And the [[Alienhunters|Ordo Xenos]] - The guys who fight aliens. All the time. This branch works with the [[Deathwatch]].
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| And nice red uniforms OH DAMN.
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[Daemonhunters]]
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| *[[Witch Hunters]]
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| {{Template:Imperium}}
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| [[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]
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