Celestial Lions
| Celestial Lions | ||
|---|---|---|
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| Battle Cry | "We are the Emperor's pride. Hear us roar!" | |
| Founding | Sometime in the 38th Millennium | |
| Successors of | Imperial Fists | |
| Chapter Master | Unknown (Previously Ekene Dubaku who got shanked by pure salt) | |
| Primarch | Rogal Dorn | |
| Homeworld | Elysium IX (destroyed, no thanks to the FUCKING INQUISITION | |
| Strength | After Armageddon, less than 95. Now rebuilding, numbers unknown. | |
| Specialty | Messing with the Inquisition, flanking tactics, being an actual Space African chapter unlike the Salamanders | |
| Allegiance | Imperium | |
| Colours | Gold, with blue helmet and pauldrons. | |
"Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults, whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse."
- – The Bible, Proverbs 9:7 (New International Version)
The Celestial Lions (calling them "Celestial Loins" would be a joke in poor taste, given their tremendous losses of late) are a chapter of Space Marines in the Warhammer 40,000 universe. They are an object lesson of what happens to people who try and mess with the Inquisition without serious backup (like being a First Founding chapter and/or staying at legion strength). It is unknown if the Inquisition is going to survive the return object lesson of what happens to those who fuck with the Space Marines. Especially Space Marines who are now best-buds with the Black Templars. With Guilliman's return, who has an express zero tolerance for stupid waste, especially with that big new jelly stain covering the galactic map, that return object lesson is now pretty much assured.
Chapter Culture
The Celestial Lions are a very brotherly, compassionate chapter, whose fraternal nature comes from the fact that they only recruit from the warrior tribes of the world Elysium IX. As they all come from a culture that values community, legacy, and courage, all the Lions hold those values as paramount. More than most other chapters, their world's culture holds sway in their conduct. The Lions are very informal to those within their own ranks, with even basic battle brothers talking to their superiors as brothers and equals, though they are disciplined on the battlefield and they show great respect to the officers of other forces, particularly the other sons of Dorn. Another quirk of their chapter culture is the value they place on storytelling and the great respect they give to talented storytellers. Within their chapter it is common for a squad to gather and tell stories of their heroes and their own exploits before an engagement. If an outsider is present in one of their ships or bases the visitor is expected to pay for their "food and fire" by telling a story from their own people's legends or that individuals exploits and as such they love serving alongside Guardsmen for the stories they tell. Though they are very different from their typical grim cousin chapters, they are proud sons of Dorn through and through. Most of this can be inferred from the short story in the Helsreach book.
Clash with the Inquisition
The Celestial Lions came into conflict with the Inquisition during the pacification of the world Khattar. Khattar was a Shrine World with a large, faithful population. When the upper echelons of the priesthood fell into worship of the Ruinous Powers, an Inquisitor Lord by the name of Apollyon (which is the Greek equivalent of "Destroyer", i.e. Abaddon) called for an Imperial Navy blockade of the world in addition to Astartes support, a call that the Celestial Lions answered. After months of brutal fighting, the Celestial Lions managed to cut the head off the local heretic priests, and with that, the world's population lost the will to fight and surrendered to the Astartes. As the Lions were withdrawing, Inquisitor Apollyon decided that since the priesthood had been corrupt, the surrendering and repentant civilian population must also be corrupt, so he ordered Exterminatus on the planet. The Lions were not fucking amused. After Apollyon refused to be held accountable for the senseless massacre, saying it was necessary, the Lions sent a Strike Cruiser with a delegation of Deathspeakers and Warleaders (Chaplains and Captains, respectively) to Holy Terra with the intention of entreating the High Lords of Terra to call the Inquisition to task over what they'd done. The ship was discovered two years later in Ork-controlled space, with nobody left alive in it, nowhere even close to its intended destination. This is a little deeper than it looks, too, as Exterminatus is reserved for planets that are too far lost to be ever recovered by the Imperium. Seeing as that was clearly not the case here, their story is perhaps meant to demonstrate how dangerous a rogue Inquisitor is.
If anything, their stubbornness proves they are true sons of Rogal Dorn.
Third War for Armageddon
Fast-forward to the Third War for Armageddon. The entire chapter was deployed to a single hive, and thanks to spectacularly bad intelligence they ended up outnumbered, unsupported, and taking heavy losses at every battle, culminating in a mission in which the supposedly inactive Gargants they were sent to destroy proved to have been lying in wait for them along with several Ork warbands backing them up- all of which had apparently been warned of the Lions' planned attack some time beforehand. Matters came to a head when "Ork snipers" managed to take out most of the survivors (especially the Apothecaries), and their last Apothecary was found dead next to the Chapter's last Land Raider (having been shot through the head with a lasgun at point blank range and the gene-seed he was carrying stolen), leaving them without any means to recover the gene-seed from their fallen. The remaining 95 Lions realized that they had been marked for death and decided that they would fight off all the Orks on Armageddon or die trying, and contacted Chaplain Grimaldus of the Black Templars to administer their last rites, but he insisted that the remainder of the Chapter could still restore its honour (and thus be allowed to leave) by slaying the warlord leading the Ork forces in the area. To support his weakened cousins Grimaldus used his influence as the 'Hero of Helsreach' to get support from several regiments of Imperial Guard. While much of the remaining forces of the Celestial Lions were wiped out in the attack, they were successful in redeeming themselves when Ekene Dubaku killed the Orkish Warlord with Grimaldus's help. The Inquisition abandoned their campaign against the remaining Lions as the lesson had been thoroughly learnt and the Black Templars were now aware of their traitorous activity. Ekene, the Lions only surviving Pride Leader (i.e. Squad Sergeant) was then named the new Chapter Master and given a couple of parting gifts by High Marshal Helbrecht himself: a suit of relic Imperial Fists power armor dating back to the Great Crusade along with a matching Relic Blade and the Strike Cruiser Blade of the Seventh Son.
Ultimate Fate
The Lions are now working to rebuild with the help of a temporary detachment of Black Templar specialists, including some apothecaries and techmarines. Though it'll be hard considering there's less than ninety-five of them left and their homeworld is nuked, another Imperial Fists successor chapter recovered from near-extinction in less than a century after being reduced to 12 Marines in total. Plus, while the Inquisition may get away with bullying later-founded chapters, it would be tantamount to suicide for anyone to mess with the largest space marine legion chapter excluding the Dark Angels.
You would think with the Indomitus Crusade going on, It's more than likely Guilliman sent some Primaris Marines to rebuild the Lions, right? RIGHT?!. NOPE, TURNS OUT, this is not the case, the inquisitions saltyness was so severe that they ended up never actually getting the information to CREATE PRIMARIS MARINES and had to get the information from their brother chapter the Emperor's Spears.
The salt continues by the Inquisition when in the novel Spear of the Emperor states that Ekene Dubaku was beheaded by a Callidus posing as Thrall servant of Amadeus Kaias Incarius from the Mentors. Nobody expects the Inquisition indeed. Of course, this means the Inquisition, Officio Assassinorum, and the Mentors have dishonored and therefore majorly pissed off yet another Chapter and the Black Templars. And if the Mentors were ignorant, then those other institutions have now pissed off three Chapters and all of their friends. Although, it's also possible that the purge of the Celestial Lions is justified. This is Warhammer 40,000.
*BLAM!* Justifying the murder of an innocent chapter during the Imperium's biggest Ork invasion is retarded, dickish, and heretical.
>SILENCED BLAM!< Casting doubts on the righteousness of the Inquisition is EXTRA-heretical and extremely stupid. Stupidity is an insult to the Holy Human Form.
In addition, the fact that it's 40K more than likely means the purge WASN'T justified. Barring a full takeover by the enemy, the Inquisition's acts of genocide are meant to show them as murder-happy assholes.
Out of universe this further proves that ADB is a hack for killing off cool characters to shill his OCs (debatable inasmuch Ekene Dubaku is also his OC). In universe on the other hand: "Ork snipers" could have been accepted for a time, grots are on the level of the human with the same ballistic skill after all. But now the Assassinorum has openly revealed itself in what most definitely qualifies as treason. Receiving Inquisitorial permission or orders to kill a Chapter for enforcing the Emperor's law is... complicated to say the least. On the face of it this is not an acceptable excuse for carrying out those blatantly treasonous orders, and the excuse of 'just following orders' has not flown since 945.M2. On the other hand, this is the Imperium of Man and the Inquisition basically IS the law. Treason is not something the Inquisiton is allowed to do. Except that working to murder a loyalist Chapter on orders of the Inquisition is not something a loyal Imperial citizen would do, it just means that whoever gave the order is obviously a traitor and that whoever follows the blatantly treasonous order instead of tattling on the Inquisitor to his conclave is also a traitor. To put another way: if Kryptman could have a whole moat of planets blown up to slow down a hive fleet, then basically this would not even be a drop in the grim dark bucket. (nice strawman attempt, killing planets to stop Tyranids, and evacuating them by the way, is totally different from killing vital assets for no reason, or is Horus innocent because of his authority?) Except that Kryptman didn't say "Blow up thousands of worlds" he sent orders to have each world evacuated and destroyed. The people fulfilling his orders probably didn't know that any other worlds were being wrecked which is probably also why the High Lords at first didn't realize he had done this. Not to mention that killing off a loyalist Chapter for what is apparently no reason is without precedent. There have been reasons of suspicious Warp occurrences, worshiping an inhuman appearance of the Emperor, cannibalism, etc., but never flat-out no reason until now. All the Inquisition could have said is 'we have evidence he's a heretic, take care of them' and the Assassinorum would not even have the authority to question that order, except they would because deploying an assassin requires a vote by the High Lords and an assassin who just assumes an Inquisitor is telling the truth about an Astartes Chapter instead of considering if the Inquisitor is a traitor would be too stupid to have passed the trials to become an assassin. Besides, blowing up planets to stop a hive fleet is one thing, exterminating a Chapter of Space Marines for apparently no reason is something else entirely and wouldn't be tolerated. Of course, with the player's knowledge we know there are so many sects in the Inquisition that it is likely one or more are conspiring to make this happen. It won't save the Inquisition from the rest of the Astartes getting pissed about it. The moment the Inquisition starts offing Chapters for getting in the way of pointless massacres and generally Space Marines doing their jobs is the moment the Astartes see the Inquisition as an obstacle to their duty. No obstacle to the Space Marines has ever survived their...removal. Especially not an organization completely reliant on its intelligence to survive and fight compared to the Astartes's superhuman intelligence. And, y'know, the Raven Guard. Bet the Alpha Legion would love helping get rid of the Inquisition, too...or they're the ones behind all of this.
Regardless, when/if this gets back to Guilliman, some heretics are gonna die and the Inquisition itself could take a major hit. Claiming to speak for the Emperor is going to sound a wee bit like a flat platitude when its spoken to one of his sons.
Trivia
- "Ork Snipers" has since become slang for Vindicare assassins, or more generally for any implausible cover story for an Inquisition action.
- Although given the fact the new kill team box set features Ork Snipers they might have to change the meme to something else.
- You know who else have golden armour, blue details and star patterns? Hammers of Sigmar. Funny, huh?
- Blue glitter paint, or clear glitter over blue, is much easier than painting individual stars.
- Also, "Ekene Dubaku" (Emperor rest his soul) is a badass as fuck name.
- They love catnip
- They do not use actual lions. Celestial or otherwise.
Daily Routines
05:00 - The Don't Wake-Up on time: The Celestial Lions awaken... later than they'd like, thanks to the Inquisition dicking around with their alarm clocks forcing some to oversleep or not get any sleep, not go off, or just spontaneously combust, or at random times hear a loud "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!" After waking they immediately recite a Litany of Hatred upon the Inquisition. During the night the Inquisition will have planted hundreds of Astartes-sized mouse traps around the beds of many groggy brothers, who walk into them.
05:15 - Morning Grooming - The Celestial Lions will attempt to ritually cleanse themselves only to find the Inquisition has replaced their Astartes-sized talcum powder with itching powder and put Bouillon cubes in their shower heads, such Inquisitorial chicanery will not go un-avenged.
05:30 - Morning Prayer: The Celestial Lions pray to tell amazing stories, as well as troll the Inquisition. Any brother caught praying for mercy from the Inquisition is sent to the Deathwatch.
06:00 - Morning Firing Rites: The Celestial Lions tell stories to each other, and laugh heartily amongst themselves. Their targets are painted to look like Inquisitors, though some of the targets look VERY life-like.
07:00 - Morning Battle Practice: The Celestial Lions reenact battles they have been in to entertain the neophytes and children of the Imperium. Sometimes, a human dressed as an Inquisitor will be the victim of a plethora of slapstick jokes.
08:00 - Morning Feast: A great feast is prepared by the Chapter Serfs. The Serfs are invited to join the Battle Brothers at the table as they tell stories and tales of heroic deeds. Any serf who has the best story about being a troll is immediately inducted into the scout company. Any Battle Brother doing the same gets to hold the Chapter Standard for the rest of the day.
09:00 - Tactical Indoctrination: The Celestial Lions gather to make fun of the Inquisition. All the Ordos, as well as the Deathwatch and Grey Knights are talked copious amounts of shit. However, any Battle Brother who sullies the name of the Sororitas is immediately appointed as the chapter's Inquisitorial Liaison for his heresy.
10:00 - Daily Check-up: The Celestial Lions report to the Apothecarion for their checkups, known as Lifebinders. unfortunately thanks to a bad case of "shot in the face" by "Ork snipers" and that one time a titan legion "accidentally" stepped on the entire Medicae team on Armageddon they only have one apothecary, this results in much waiting in line for the Space Marine Apothecaries and reading of Astartes sized magazines while they wait.
11:00 - Midday Battle Practice: The Celestial Lions will disperse to whatever field the captains deem necessary, to cull captured Orks or traitors at this point in the day the Inquisition will usually try to pick off few more Celestial Lions, with schemes ranging from Vindicare snipers to Eversors strapped to oversized fireworks and Mechanicus issued rocket skates.
12:00 - Afternoon Feast: The Chapter gathers to laugh and tell more stories of great deeds. Serfs are encouraged to participate, encouraging them to criticize and throw the best insult at the inquisition whenever possible.
13:00 - Mail and Postage: For the next hour the Chapter Master see to matters such as answering letters from a grateful Imperium, requests for aid and sending away box tops to Mars for a new Repulsor tank etc., at this point the Inqusition will try to send some dynamite disguised as cigars to the chapters High Command, only for their scheme to literally blow up in their faces as they put their fortresses as the return address.
14:00 - Afternoon Firing Rites: Inquisitorial agents, soldiers, and assassins sent after them are placed in a field for target practice. Many times, the Chapter Serfs are allowed to take a few shots as well.
15:00 - Chaplain Motivational Speech: For the next hour the Chaplains known as Deathspeakers will extol the virtues of courage and honor while the Inquisition looks to eliminate these paragons of virtue, by dropping an inquisitorially sanctioned anvil on their heads from a Mechanicus issued weather balloon.
16:00 - Afternoon Battle Practice: The Celestial Lions meet with their Black Templar pals to practice melee and mechanized combat.
17:00 - Mechanized Field Maneuvers: The Celestial Lions will conduct armored field maneuvers involving rhinos, predators, and land raiders which unfortunately thanks to Inquisitorial meddling suffer many malfunctions such as brake-lines being cut, transports exploding, and the occasional potato shoved in the tailpipe.
18:00 - Evening Feast: The Celestial Lions, Black Templars, and Chapter Serfs all enjoy a nice meal. Everyone shares stories and tell of their feats, from killing Tau commanders and Ork Warbosses, to trolling Zis-chan.
19:00 - End of Day Announcements and Promotions: At the end of day the chapter High Command will bring up any declarations for the chapter or announce any promotions in the chapter, usually caused by a vacancy (of the Exitus Rifle kind), and will usually be filled by the one guy who the Inquisition failed to kill that day.
20:00 - Free time: The Celestial Lions tell each other more stories as their Templar friends depart. Whenever they find the Inquisitorial spy hiding in the air ducts, they drag him out and force him to watch video clips of Tau beating humans in melee. The sheer rage and disgust that appears on his face entertains the entire chapter. New Battle Brothers that were recruited after the nuking of Elysium IX will try various antics to try to fit in with their darker skinned brethren, such as using polymorphine "loaned" from captured Callidus Assassins to alter their skin tone. Well intentioned brothers will be given a crash course in the lost tribal cultures of Elysium IX, pranksters who bandied about breaded and deep-fried poultry will be force-fed Bean and Okra Stew so that they may appreciate real cuisine.
21:00 - Chaplain Edict: the celestial lions will listen to their chaplain speak about courage and honor, only to find the Inquisition has replaced their sacred incense with window lean, swapped out parts of the sermon for chicken soup recipes and dance routines topped off with dosing the Chaplain with a near lethal amount of helium. The end result is a squeeky skeleton man shouting about the Emperor and how he and Rogal Dorn busted a move on the Agri-world of Minced Garlic.
22:00 - Early Bedtime: Sleepy, the tired Celestial Lions will pounce into bed, only to find the Inquisition has replaced all their beds with all kinds of goofy shit, again. The resulting amounts of extreme lethargy and suicidal thoughts cause the spawning and immediate keeling over of a Great Unclean One in the realm of Nurgle.
24:00 - Real Bedtime: The Celestial Lions, after removing every last Squig from their rooms turn in for the night. Before they do so, the Chapter Master tells them all a bedtime story.
Gallery
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Black Templars Grimaldus and Pride Leader Ekene Dubaku kickin' Ork asses. Note how Grimaldus is far too much of a badass to look where he’s shooting.
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Ekene Dubaku rocking the Bolt Carbine... Totally awesome. In other news, Grimaldus still isn’t looking where he’s shooting.
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So True.
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We present to you, the Celestial Lions!
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A Celestial Lion Apothecary falling victim to an "Ork Sniper"
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GW hasn't forgotten about Celestial Lions! A Lion in the Space Marine Adventures expansion set.
