Chaos
"And thanks to Moorcock, whose fault all this is."
- – Warhammer Fantasy, crediting Michael Moorcock
"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge."
- – Mikhail Bakunin
"What could possibly go wrong?"
- – Every single being who ever signed a pact with a demon.
Chaos is a concept which appears in various games, including 40k, Warhammer: Age of Sigmar, WFRP, Warhammer Fantasy Battles and the Fighting Fantasy books. There is even a board game dedicated to Chaos where you get to play as the major powers. It means more than simple disorder, and incorporates elements of the Lovecraftian concepts of godlike tentacled abominations, evil cults, and "things man was not meant to know" with a 1950s B-movie interpretation of nuclear radiation. There is even a material, warpstone, which is analogous to fissile material with regard to chaos.
Common features of Chaos include:
- Insanity.
- Secrets that the ordinary man cannot be permitted to know.
- Knowledge that corrupts the bearer and leads him into service of the dark gods.
- Dark gods who capriciously reward as much as punish their followers.
- Summoning Daemons, by letting them (temporarily) escape the Warp/Realm of Chaos.
- Mutations both as a result of the radiation-like influence of Chaos and as gifts from the chaos gods.
- Failing so badly against the Imperium of Man and High Elves that GW retcons decades worth of plot as if the dark gods were merely pretending to be retarded
- Areas blighted by Chaos (such as the Chaos Wastes or the Eye of Terror) and uninhabitable by sane or irreligious people.
- Roaming warbands or dark cults of Chaos-worshipers.
- Furries.
Chaos, as 40kfags know it, was inspired by Moorcock's ideas about Law vs. Chaos from the Eternal Champion series, (and the ancient Egyptian concept of Ma'at vs Isfet). Radiation-like qualities are likely the result of the games in question having been written during the Cold War, with the paranoia that entails.
In more recent Warhammer canon, Chaos exists in a multiverse and is connected to numerous other Warhammer settings other than the two (three, with Blood Bowl) known to us. This means any Chaos entity with an external origin was once a mortal being in every universe they appear in, who combined in the Warp like a terrible comicbook reboot.
Followers of Chaos
There are lots of followers of chaos. Every single one of them has to be considered "armed and dangerous" even when unarmed.
- Sorcerers: Guys who have magic powers.
- Psykers: Guys who have psychic powers.
- Beastmen: Savage beasts made because of freakish warp exposure. Might be furries but are actually more useless without someone to lead them. (Are Tzaangors "featheries? Does that make humans "fleshies?")
- Chaos Cults: Your average joe who decides that life sucks, might as well get that sense of community and brotherhood in a group that extols values such as "flaying yourself for Khorne" or "bathing in pus with Nurgle."
- Warriors of Chaos: Badass evil mother-fucking vikings clad in armor that looks fucking awesome. Basically the fantasy equivalent to chaos space marines. In war, they are lead by a Champion of Chaos, a sorcerer, or really anyone capable of leading a couple of deranged, superhuman war incarnates into battle.
- Chaos Space Marines: A bunch of guys whose leader had a few daddy issues with Empy. Basically the 40k equivalent to chaos warriors. In war, they are led by a chaos lord or a sorcerer or really anyone or anything capable of leading a handful of deranged, superhuman war incarnates in battle.
- Daemons: Creatures made of rape and lemon juice and the jizz of their gods. Exist because you have bad thoughts.
- Matt Ward: Skub in human form.
- Grand Alliance: Chaos
- Dice
Gods of Chaos
In both the Fantasy and 40k settings there are four chief Chaos deities, and a number of minor gods.
Khorne
God of Hate, Rage, Blood, War, Battle, Strength, Wrath, Fighting and Killing, and Honor
Stated as being the strongest Chaos God due to all the violence in the Warhammers (one of which has only war, or so we're told), and the Chaos Gods themselves being nothing more than palpable manifestations of abstract emotion and philosophy who thus are fed whenever these things are exerted in the real world. In fact, just by playing the game you make Khorne stronger. In a parallel version of the Warhammer Fantasy universe, Blood Bowl, he has his own football team.
Tzeentch
God of Change, Lies, Hope, Ambition, Manipulation, Scheming and Sorcery, Politics, Planning, Knowledge, Trolling, (formerly) Magic and Lulz
"Chaos exists in a state of permanent victory over you - you dance to our tune, mortal one, you butcher and torture and repress one another because the gods of the warp require you to... My lord Tzeentch won your war a long, long time ago."
- – Ghargatuloth, Daemon Prince of Tzeentch
Tzeentch is prone to utter the phrase "JUST AS PLANNED". Second strongest and the most successful Chaos God for some reason. Probably because the oppressed peasantry and ambitious warriors are always hoping for food/death/glory. Respectively. Since the nature of Chaos is stated above. In Warhammer Fantasy he's more important as he's the Chaos God of magic, which is ironic because not only does he do all of jack and shit in Fantasy but he also has the weakest Daemons in the army (even his own special magic lore sucks) Gameplay and Story Segregation/ maybe Games Workshop hates Tzeentch or aren't skilled enough to write him well. He claims to be the origin of all magic, but that's bullshit since that would make him the origin of everything, including the other Chaos Gods; so we know he's a fucking liar on top of being a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!
Nurgle
God of Decay, Despair, Acceptance, Destruction, Disease, Tolerance, Compassion, and Empathy
Also known as "Papa Nurgle" or "Grandfather Nurgle", the bloated lord of disease arose from man's fear of death. His followers are afflicted with various awful plagues, but do not suffer or die of them. As well as this respite, he offers those who worship him a sense of family and belonging which is incongruous with the usual attitudes of the chaos gods and his own fearsome appearance.Cited in books as being the third strongest of the gods, until a jolly plague party pops up, where he temporarily overshadows his brothers until the party(participants) dies off. He runs a carnival in Warhammer Fantasy proving once more that all clowns are evil beings full of disease that want to take you away from your parents.
Slaanesh
God of Decadence, Excess, Pain, Pleasure, Perfection, Aesthetics and Self Indulgence
Slaanesh gave us Daemonettes. PLEASE NOTE: Daemonettes are not as attractive in the canon as they are in the pictures on this site. In fact they traditionally only have one breast and have crab claws for hands. For one edition, Hordes of Chaos, they got a revamp to be much sexier, with a mixture of scythe-blade hands and human hands, and being pretty obviously female (often with multiple breasts), which is where most of the love for them comes from. They got changed back the very next edition, along with the loss of Chaos Undivided as its own force. Slaanesh is fairly active in the 'hammer universes. In 40k he was birthed from the non-stop 80's mosh orgy of the Eldar and as a result has claim to each and every Eldar soul, which he/she eats like popcorn. In Fantasy he prefers making Elves into Daemonettes, preferring them as an occasional dessert while he watches his figure (in a mirror, at all times).
No way one person can convince anyone else that Slaanesh isn't all sex, drugs and Rock and Roll.
Malal
A renegade Chaos God, representing the paradox of Chaos fighting against itself.
Malal has been reintroduced under the name of Malice through the Short story of the Sons of Malice: "Labyrinth". Long since removed from the setting ever since GW couldn't decide who owned the rights. JUST AS PLANNED. Malal likes random violence and smashing stuff, which makes him chaotic neutral, because he is just as likely to mess up the other Chaos Gods plans as it is to prey on Humans and stuff. In short when all the other 4 Chaos gods got together to hatch a plan, Malal storms in and shouts "SURPRISE!!!" and proceeds to try to kill, mutilate set fire to, and destroy anything within reach. Even Khorne has some self discipline and can (though barely) hold it together to have a chat about how to get more Blood and Skulls - Malal just destroys anything within reach - It is completely unhinged and revels in random destruction and violence. Each time Chaos squabbles, Malal gets stronger.
Now of dubious canonicity between the copyright issues and GW simply not giving a shit.
Horned Rat
Chaos Vermin Lord, rebellious 13th God.
Existing only in Fantasy, the Horned Rat is a daemonic entity of unknown origin who has somehow become the patron deity of a race of rat-men called "Skaven" in his image to worship him. As they grew in power, so did he. While possessing an intellect and planning comparable to Tzeentchian Greater Daemons (although without the master nerd sabotaging him), he's also very brutish and when summoned by his followers will oftentimes behave as an unintelligent monster, rampaging through their ranks and consuming his most loyal minions before returning to the Warp.
The Chaos Gods of Order
While they have only been mentioned sparingly, and recent fluff has abandoned them for all intents and purposes, there were once four Chaos entities of Order (Chaos being potential after all, not always "inside out walrus" logic) in Warhammer Fantasy. They are also sometimes called the gods of Law. Their most prominent appearance is in the first edition of the Warhammer Fantasy roleplay. Their canonicity is dubious at best at this point, as they have never been mentioned anywhere else since then. The Emperor of Mankind is speculated to transform into the Warp God of Order should he be allowed to die.
There are three mentioned by name. Alluminas was a god of light who shined eternally, freezing in place anything his light touched. His worship was said to be unknowable by mortal minds. Arianka was essentially Snow White, a being Tzeentch and the Horned Rat both feared, while Malal saw an opportunity to increase his own power, who was trapped in the mortal world in a crystalline coffin. This coffin is supposed to be under Praag and can be opened with a crystal key. Solkan empowered those who fought Chaos, including Witch Hunters, in a manner more akin to Malal with some self-restraint.
See Also
- Friends
- Chaos BBQ Cook-Off
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUhr77e8Eho&feature=related
- FOR THE RUINOUS POWERS
Gallery
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Followers of Chaos.
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Chaos cultist are KAP-TOORING the streets too.
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YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO VOTE FOR THE BLACK MAN?! YOU'RE ALL WORSHIPING TZEENTCH NOW! Don't blame me, I voted for McKhorne.
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Chaos Divided, Just as planned..
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