Kurtulmak: Difference between revisions
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Kurtulmak is the God of [[Kobolds]] in the [[ | Kurtulmak is the patron God of [[Kobolds]] in the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] game. He first appeared in the first edition, in the campaign setting of [[Greyhawk]]. He resides in a twisting warren of tunnels tucked away in a remote corner of Avernus, the first level of Hell. Also, apparently, receiving godood amounts to eating your wheaties, so he is the world's largest kobold. He is still only five feet tall. | ||
== | == Original Greyhawk Lore == | ||
He is possibly the most multiclassed god in the Greyhawk pantheon, Being a Fighter/Cleric/Rogue/Sorcerer, which, while not synergising all that well, works cause he is a god. | |||
Unlike most other racial deities Kurtulmak did not create the Kobold race. He was however the first Kobold ever, made by the | Unlike most other racial deities Kurtulmak did not create the Kobold race. He was however the first Kobold ever, made by the green dragon Caesinsjach after Io gave the true dragons the ability to create life. Supposedly, being made by a Green dragon is what made the Kobold's into such insufferable cunts. Apparently for some contrived reason he was larger than all the other Kobolds, so the dragon who created him ordered her kobolds around through him, essentially making him their leader by default, well that and the fact he could kick the shit out of every other Kobold being twice their height. | ||
According to | According to kobold legend, this led to some rather interesting events in Kurtulmak's life. So Caesinsjach, being a Green Dragon, told the Kobolds to get some swag from beneath the earth and Kurtulmak invented the pickaxe to mine said swag. When she told them to Pimp Her Cave, Big K minted the first gold draconic coins out of gold in order to pimp said cave easier. | ||
== Later Lore== | |||
With Greyhawk's descent into ignominy in 3rd edition, Kurtulmak's lore has changed over the years. The most recent lore probably comes from [[Dragon Magazine]] #332, where he was described in the Ecology of the Kobold. In essence, Kurtulmak is a sort of unwanted bastard son of [[Tiamat]]; when the draconic goddess laid her first clutch of divine-touched eggs, a fuck-huge army of mortal thieves raided her lair. Though she fought furiously, several of her eggs and a signficant amount of treasure was stolen before the injured deity collapsed her lair in on itself, crushing all the thieves. Weakened but needing to protect and restore her brood, she caused one egg to hatch early, resulting in Kurtulmak; a huge kobold with a powerful stinger for a tail. Kurtulmak fixed up Tiamat's lair, riddling it with the deadliest traps he could invent, and then started re-opening the passageways out of the lair. During his excavations, he dug up stolen eggs of Tiamat, which had cooled too greatly to have a hope of hatching. So he used his powers to make them hatch into the first kobolds. At his side, they learned the arts of digging, mining, trapmaking and cunning, and eventually they dug their way to the material plane, where they have proliferated ever since. | |||
== Feud with Garl Glittergold == | |||
Kurtulmak's deepest enmity is held for the patron god of the [[gnome]]s, [[Garl Glittergold]], and although the difference in their power levels makes this a one-sided rivalry, it is carried out amongst their servitor races. | |||
Why does Kurtulmak hate Garl so much? The long and short of it is that Kurtulmak spent ages laboring to build an immense underground festhall, carefully triggered that it could be collapsed if a single keystone was pulled out. Kurtulmak wanted to play a "trick" on the other gods by inviting them to dinner and then, at the end, dropping the dungeon on their heads. But Garl snuck in and triggered it early, so only Kurtulmak got squashed. When he dug himself out and found out who had set it off, he swore vengeance. | |||
Exactly ''why'' Garl did this varies depending on who you ask. Kobolds swear he did it out of jealousy. Gnomes swear with equal fervor that it was simply idle curiosity to see if Kurtulmak's trap would actually work as it was supposed to. | |||
{{D&D-Nonhuman-Deities}} | {{D&D-Nonhuman-Deities}} | ||
[[Category:Being working on by a man obsessed with mangoes and his dumbass friend]] | [[Category:Being working on by a man obsessed with mangoes and his dumbass friend]] | ||
Revision as of 05:00, 3 February 2016
 This page is needs images. Help plz. |
Kurtulmak is the patron God of Kobolds in the Dungeons & Dragons game. He first appeared in the first edition, in the campaign setting of Greyhawk. He resides in a twisting warren of tunnels tucked away in a remote corner of Avernus, the first level of Hell. Also, apparently, receiving godood amounts to eating your wheaties, so he is the world's largest kobold. He is still only five feet tall.
Original Greyhawk Lore
He is possibly the most multiclassed god in the Greyhawk pantheon, Being a Fighter/Cleric/Rogue/Sorcerer, which, while not synergising all that well, works cause he is a god.
Unlike most other racial deities Kurtulmak did not create the Kobold race. He was however the first Kobold ever, made by the green dragon Caesinsjach after Io gave the true dragons the ability to create life. Supposedly, being made by a Green dragon is what made the Kobold's into such insufferable cunts. Apparently for some contrived reason he was larger than all the other Kobolds, so the dragon who created him ordered her kobolds around through him, essentially making him their leader by default, well that and the fact he could kick the shit out of every other Kobold being twice their height.
According to kobold legend, this led to some rather interesting events in Kurtulmak's life. So Caesinsjach, being a Green Dragon, told the Kobolds to get some swag from beneath the earth and Kurtulmak invented the pickaxe to mine said swag. When she told them to Pimp Her Cave, Big K minted the first gold draconic coins out of gold in order to pimp said cave easier.
Later Lore
With Greyhawk's descent into ignominy in 3rd edition, Kurtulmak's lore has changed over the years. The most recent lore probably comes from Dragon Magazine #332, where he was described in the Ecology of the Kobold. In essence, Kurtulmak is a sort of unwanted bastard son of Tiamat; when the draconic goddess laid her first clutch of divine-touched eggs, a fuck-huge army of mortal thieves raided her lair. Though she fought furiously, several of her eggs and a signficant amount of treasure was stolen before the injured deity collapsed her lair in on itself, crushing all the thieves. Weakened but needing to protect and restore her brood, she caused one egg to hatch early, resulting in Kurtulmak; a huge kobold with a powerful stinger for a tail. Kurtulmak fixed up Tiamat's lair, riddling it with the deadliest traps he could invent, and then started re-opening the passageways out of the lair. During his excavations, he dug up stolen eggs of Tiamat, which had cooled too greatly to have a hope of hatching. So he used his powers to make them hatch into the first kobolds. At his side, they learned the arts of digging, mining, trapmaking and cunning, and eventually they dug their way to the material plane, where they have proliferated ever since.
Feud with Garl Glittergold
Kurtulmak's deepest enmity is held for the patron god of the gnomes, Garl Glittergold, and although the difference in their power levels makes this a one-sided rivalry, it is carried out amongst their servitor races.
Why does Kurtulmak hate Garl so much? The long and short of it is that Kurtulmak spent ages laboring to build an immense underground festhall, carefully triggered that it could be collapsed if a single keystone was pulled out. Kurtulmak wanted to play a "trick" on the other gods by inviting them to dinner and then, at the end, dropping the dungeon on their heads. But Garl snuck in and triggered it early, so only Kurtulmak got squashed. When he dug himself out and found out who had set it off, he swore vengeance.
Exactly why Garl did this varies depending on who you ask. Kobolds swear he did it out of jealousy. Gnomes swear with equal fervor that it was simply idle curiosity to see if Kurtulmak's trap would actually work as it was supposed to.