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[[Image:Comissar.png|frame|*BLAM*]]
:''But sir-!
:''BLAM!
:''Your zipper is open...
A commissar is a Russian officer in the [[Imperial Guard]] whose job it is to keep morale high by blowing the brains out of anyone who shows sign of weakness or fear. It works, statistically. They get a cool [[hats|hat]], and a sword they seem all too happy to hit the enemy with.
They seem to be a bunch of dic*BLAM*
==Reasonable Commissars==
Reasonable Commissars do not execute those who flee. However, they do carry a potent stun-gun to bring down those who break ranks. Afterwards, the accused is brought before a military tribunal to judge what the appropriate punishment will be. Reasonably Hard Labor is a common punishment.


Reasonable Commissars can often be found in units operating alongside [[Reasonable Marines]].
Reasonable Commissars only exist because there are Commissars who are *ahem* ''dicks''...such as Commissar Jericho of the 8th Cadian Whiteshield division:
''Lil' Timmy: "[[grimdark|Commissar? My helmet won't fit. Can you please help me fasten it?"''
''Jericho: "IF YOU CANNOT FASTEN YOUR OWN HELMET, YOU'RE AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER! AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER IS THE SAME AS A HERETIC IN MY BOOK! SUMMARY EXECUTION FOR YOU!" *BLAM*''
''Jericho: "SO. ANY OF YOU OTHER CHILDREN WANT HELP WITH SOMETHING? WHAT ABOUT YOU, OLIVER? DO YOU STILL WANT MORE PORRIDGE? OH WAIT, YOU'RE DEAD! HAH! GET BACK TO FIGHTING YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SLIME]]!"''
''- from the records of inquisitor Murtho''
==Notable Commissars==
*[[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]]
*[[Commissar Yarrick]]
*Commissar [[Ciaphas Cain]] HERO OF THE IMPERIUM
*[[Commissar Fuklaw]]
*[[Commissar Dan]]
*[[K59|Commissar K59]]
*Commissar [[Holt]]
*[[Commissar Raege]]
==Quotes==
- "Fear me!!! ...But follow!
- "What I cannot crush with words! I shall crush with tanks!!"
==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Commisarmoti.jpg|The real reason why Guardsmen do not revolt en masse
Image:Closer.jpg|Told you about those swords!
Image:Thenewcommissar.jpg|[[Kharn|He's the new commissar]]. OH SHI-
Image:Commissar Surfing.jpg|Commissars are badass
Image:Komissar_by_kriegsmachine14.jpg
Image:Comissar_Promotions.jpg
Image:1207335821953.jpg|[[Commissar Dan]] on the blaze of glory run
Image:What_kind_of_heresy_is_this.jpg
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-1.jpg|Chink loev comissar
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-2.jpg
Image:Yarrick_by_Chink_1.jpg|[[Commissar Yarrick]] by Chink
Image:Yarrick_by_Chink_2.jpg
Image:Feb.jpg|Commissar from the ill-fated /tg/ calendar project
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|One of these is not like the others.
Image:Commissar-Fuck_Yeah.jpg|Imperial Guard, FUCK YEAH!
Image:Commissar_Badass.jpg|[[Ciaphas Cain|HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!]]
Image:Fixedhat2.jpg|The Commissar is here to ensure your loyalty.
Image:1226746378911.jpg|Squad morale restored.
Image:1230024061774.png|POWER HUG!
Image:powerfists_commissar.jpg
Image:CommissarCos.jpg|'''*BLAM*'''
</gallery>
[[Category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Commissars]]

Latest revision as of 23:31, 10 February 2026